Dissapoinment

In fact, I still maintain my position that horror movies are disgusting and not scary. Although I have to admit that there are moments, small sequences, and certain scenes that are effective and generate the occasional chill. But personally, that doesn't mean it has to "save the movie" or that it's a completely scary movie. What a way to confuse the issues, waste the atmosphere, overdo the dialogue and the actors' performances, and minimize the main genre, only to replace it shamelessly with various genres that are the opposite of horror.

I don't care what the world says, or what directors or producers think about it. I care about what I want to see.

Goal?

Something I have to confess is that I like the idea of being able to declare my intentions and perspectives toward a specific taste (horror movies). It would even serve as a reflection for myself on how I think about this art form in general. It also works as an affirmation of what I honestly think about the execution of the stories and all the elements that any viewer is capable of noticing.

Analyzing any genre and its subgenres, which is most effective, which is most authentic, which is the scariest.

Besides, I love writing and having someone read these "articles."

Therapy, Hobbie or Obsession?

I've been thinking about it, most people who spend their time on the Internet wasting time with other people who are also wasting time have nothing better to do than show the worst side of their lives, which some are unable or don't have the guts to do in real life. Are they ashamed? I don't know.

They believe they are seeking some possibility of happiness, but I don't mean as a "hobbie," but rather something much greater and worse, as if it were an escape, a magic wand. Anyway, extremes are bad. One should learn to control oneself and avoid consulting idiots who leave nothing good for one's mind. Unless it is for the purpose of seeking the reality of the existence of that... thing.

What a madness.

But don't get me wrong. My situation is completely different, and I am aware of what I do, think, and say. I have better things to do outside of the internet than search for losers who only complain about their depressing lives, causing distress to others who are just trying to relax. Here, this is nothing more than a repository of ideas and memories created as "therapy."

Family Time

Trying to understand my dad's initiative to be here at home and about the vacation, my mom seemed to be happier just because she was coming home with them. She thought it was a good idea to spend quality time with the family, and I think that's because I'm in college now and have my own room, but it's not like I'm far from home, as if I were in another country... I'm only about three blocks away.

The thing is, just as I was heading back to my room, my mom stopped me right away, asking me if I wanted to go with her to the pool, just to hang out even if I didn't go in the water. She knew how I was, so she insisted, and I went with her, wearing only shorts and a black T-shirt (nothing to impress anyone) and went with my mom to the pool. And there I was. Actually, the pool was empty. My mom was just lying on a lounge chair while I dipped my feet in the water, enjoying the moment, as she said. She asked me if I wanted to go swimming, but I said no. It wasn't until my dad showed up again, wearing almost nothing but swim trunks, to surprise me and play another one of his pranks on me. He grabbed me by the shoulders and simply threw me into the water, saying, "Come on, girl! Have some fun." Well, you can imagine the look on my mother's face at the mere sight of my father.

Later that same day, around 6 p.m., our family dinner was a little “distressing,” at least for me. My mom always has a habit of accompanying her meals with wine. She's usually an alcoholic, but she's not one of those who drowns herself in alcohol out of resentment. She simply loves alcohol for its taste, but let's just say she accidentally overdoes it. Her behavior tends to be more friendly than usual. My dad always has a habit of being the center of attention at the table, talking about his work, his friends, or some strange thing that happened to him when he was alone; but if not that, he usually asks me uncomfortable questions that I can't answer. He kept asking me about why I was always alone, why I didn't have a girlfriend yet, why I looked so "effeminate", why I hadn't been in a fraternity, why I still hadn't lost my virginity, if I'm gay... and a bunch of other questions that I don't even want to write down here. In the end, he's never satisfied with my curt, context-free answers (I literally don't know what to say to him), and the only thing he always reminds me of is that I should act tough and superior like him and not spend all day locked in my room watching horrible horror movies. But as usual, my mom always calms my dad down with some comfort or... whatever it is adults do at night alone to make him forget.

After all, it was a quiet day, but at the same time strange enough to be tedious. Anyway, I'll try to enjoy my evenings or my real private time watching horror movies and giving my opinions about them.

Awkward Moment

At around 3:25 in the afternoon, I decided to take a shower to cool off from the infernal heat that was suffocating me. I hate being sweaty (after all, I always wear a hoodie). Anyway, I got into the shower, ready to wash up and relax after the long, exhausting walk from my university to my house, when suddenly, without me noticing, my dad surprised me by throwing a bucket of ice water over me in the shower. He ended up playing a "prank" on me that scared me to death when I felt the sudden coldness of the ice-cold water.

He opened the shower door a little to see me and make fun of me. It was something like: "Welcome to Spring Break, newbie!" then he ran off laughing. He behaved just like the frat boys at my school, a little immature for someone his age. In the end, I took my shower, but with a slightly bitter taste left by my father.

However, as soon as I left the bathroom, I knew my mom had found out about the prank, and soon I heard the argument they were having. She was not at all happy with what he had done to me. And indeed, she told him it was very stupid of him to do such things at his age, that he could joke around but perhaps in a different way. He got a scolding that was enough to wipe the smile off his face immediately.

Peace and quiet at home

I've never seen the house so quiet. For a vacation, it's really peaceful around my home (both inside and outside). The reason is that I live in a mansion, and the calmness of the soft sound of the trees and nature itself makes me appreciate the environment more than anyone else who hardly has time to pay attention to it. But my dad is always telling me that "this house is too big for the three of us", suggesting that one day when I'm an adult, I should have a family with lots of children.

I don't agree with his idea, sorry. My mom is more on my side, always by my side. She is more intrigued than opposed to the way I think. The only thing she doesn't like is my attitude toward horror movies. Speaking of her, she is a good woman, always charismatic but at times reserved and rarely domineering, but at the end of the day, it is a normal thing.

Spring Break!

Spring Break has just begun and everyone is super excited, me included, I guess. So most of the college crowd decides to spend it at the beach, at other people's houses or here at fraternities or whatever. They have their trucks ready to go at full volume and most of the guys are walking around shirtless celebrating these crazy holidays.

Meanwhile, I decide to enjoy them at home. Actually, when I think about it, I don't have much to do outside. I still don't know anyone at my school, and I don't really have any friends yet, other than my roommates, who are only there to make snide comments about me. But putting aside the absurdity of it all, I also decided to take advantage of these vacations by relaxing at home and watching horror movies. Walking back home, some classmates who knew me saw me passing by and asked me to join them at their party and to give myself permission to be a little daring, wild, or crazy and not be such a "hermit." They meant well, but I still declined. I don't see the fun in getting drunk or trying to sleep with someone just for a vacation, but I don't judge them either. I just want to do my own thing in peace as much as I can.

But let's say that at home I wasn't free from that burden of prejudice either. When my dad saw me walk past the front door, he asked me why I was home at the beginning of the Sprink Break. He looked surprised and curious to see me back home and not "partying" like the rest of the university. My father is a very extroverted guy, let's say he fits the alpha-male stereotype, which I don't judge him for, but boy, is he annoying sometimes. He wants me to be like other kids my age, to have fun or be crazy, or worse, just like him. The only answer I could give him was one that didn't suit him at all, telling him that I came home to rest instead of going to the beach.

In any case, I could look for ways to not only enjoy watching horror movies, but possibly do other activities as well.

My Blog

The reason I decided to start a blog and publish everything you see here was when I was in high school. I've always wanted to have a website where I could publish my ideas, my life, or the first thing that came to mind so that anyone could see what I was thinking at that moment. But I didn't dare to do it until now.

Something I want you to keep in mind is that this is not a diary to blatantly hide secrets. This is a place to share my experiences with anyone who dares to read these writings out of curiosity.

To make a long story short, I have always liked horror movies. There is no other incredible pleasure than watching horror movies. Somehow, I've always found comfort in them. I do nothing else but enjoy myself in the dark at any time of day (especially at night) watching any movie that is solely and exclusively of that genre. You could say that this has always been my only constant, although my parents tell me that it's unhealthy for me to spend all my time locked up at home or in my room watching only "those" movies. In the end, I don't care. I enjoy them for the sheer fact of seeing the distortion and grotesqueness of reality.

The only real problem I have here, and which is the subject of this blog, is that horror movies are no longer scary.

What a disappointment.

Horror Movies

Horror movies are a joke now; they're not scary anymore. I dare say that there are few movies in this genre that managed to impress me, and I didn't see them at the time.